Friday, April 3, 2009

Opening the Door

Dear Amy,

You know .... we all have a story in us, just waiting to be told, and your story will be what Luke and Carter will carry with them ... all of their lives. I believe that what we leave behind is what counts in life ... not material things, but what we have in our heart and what we leave to those we love. Words are so powerful and can be so healing. Your words will be the greatest gift you will ever give to them.

It's funny ... because as I sit here and write this to you, I think about the day I met you. The day Josh brought you home. You were a teenager and were so shy. But you quickly grew into our family and our hearts. It doesn't seem like that day was over eight years ago. I can honestly say that you never in your life said a cross word to me ... you might of thought it, but you never said it. Even though we, me and you, have had good and bad things happen ... we never turned our back on each other ... and for that I am so thankful.

I know that it will be hard for you to start writing here and that is why I'm opening the door for you. It will probably be the hardest thing you've ever done. But I know you can do it. Pouring out your soul and emotions is hard for anyone ... especially when we don't know what the future holds. One day soon turns into another and soon the days are forgotten. When we write our story ... we're leaving a piece of ourselves, one that will carry on forever. So when you write yours, write it like you will live forever ... because to them .... YOU will.

I don't know if I ever told you this, but I started writing letters to Josh before he was ever born. Those letters are twenty-eight years old now, and to me they are priceless. I can just imagine how he will feel when he reads them some day.

Can you just imagine when Carter and Luke are grown up and sitting here reading these letters from their Mother, and from those that loved her? Can you just imagine how full their hearts will be and how they will know beyond a shadow of a doubt that they were loved higher than any mountain and deeper than any sea.

When you think about it ... none of us know what is in our future. That's why it's so important to draw close to God, even when we don't understand things that happen in our life. I know you're on the right path and I know, no matter what happens to any of us ... we'll all meet up in Heaven some day.

I also know that you know .... that you are a daughter of my heart. I love you and promise to always be here to help you. ... and if God would choose to take you tomorrow, I will help take care of your babies and instill in them the one fact that I know ... that you will always love them ... even when you're in Heaven.



  1. Hi Amy, she's right, write like you will live forever, because you will live forever, weather it is here on earth or at home with Jesus our Saviour...Always have faith, trust god that what ever happens it happens for a reason. I am sure that God has something big planned for you, Pray always to God to guide you and give you strength for this journey that he has prepared for you. You will always be in my prayers. With much love Diana.

  2. This is beautiful Tanya. Amy we are praying for strength to get through the days ahead and peace for your heart.

  3. Praying for you Amy. I cannot even being to imagine what you are feeling & going through as you begin to write letters to your precious boys. I hope that you are able to tell them everything you want them to know, and more. Let your heart be your guide. Tanya, this is a beautiful letter. I know that you will do your very best to help Amy and your family through this difficult illness and journey. You are all in my prayers and thoughts - daily.

  4. Amy, we're thinking about you as you navigate this difficult journey. Don't feel isolated -- please accept and ask for help anytime it's offered or needed. Keep your chin up and cherish each and every moment with your children. We've never met, but I've read your story on Tanya's page. My best wishes to you and your family. --Laura

  5. Amy, May you feel God's arms around you as you begin your journey. Please know that you are being lifted up in prayer and that we are all pulling for you. I lost my mother at age 13 and there are so many sweet memories from my childhood that wonder in and out of my thoughts just out of the blue and alot of times, those exact thoughts were exactly what I needed to remember during certain obstacles I was going through at the time. What I would have given to have something like this for my mother to have been able to put it all down for me to keep not only in my heart, but where I could go back and hear her voice reading her feelings as I looked upon it. A place where I could go for comfort at times I needed her reassurance in my life. Your boys will always feel your love guiding them through their life. Keep the Faith and keep believing. Mona

  6. What an awesome tribute! I lost my mother to colon cancer when I was four years old (1971). I have some memories of her, and will never let them fade. Out of everything considered, I miss having something she had written the most. What a wonderful tribute for your boys to have forever; they will cherish it more than you know. Hug them, love them, play with them. But please, please write to them. Give them something tangible to hold on to. Keep fighting and keep praying. Praying for you in Atlanta!